Socializing Dogs

Pet parents are bombarded with: “You’re a terrible owner if you don’t allow your dog to greet other dogs,” “The socialization window closes before 16 weeks so hurry and meet as many dogs as possible,” “Dogs must meet 100 new dogs before a certain age” statements. These statements are valid, but it’s important to add limitations and boundaries first. Follow these dog socializing tips and be their voice.

What is Socialization?

Socialization means puppies and dogs learn how to interact within their worlds. Socialization is vital. Each interaction must be tailored to your dog’s personality with the purpose of teaching him how to interact within his world with confidence.

Greeting: Engage and Disengage

Greeting means a dog walks directly over to another dog with the purpose of engagement. During socialization, puppies and dogs are learning how to politely meet (engage) and end (disengage) greetings. Not all dogs are polite greeters. They can be downright rude by invading space, staring or being too rough. This is where disengaging becomes tricky. It’s kind of hard to move away from a rude greeter while on leash so some dogs will resort to threatening behaviors to make the rude dog go away. Now, your confused disengager learns threats work and is the normal way to disengage.

Living with a Gregarious Greeter

Not all dogs are comfortable meeting your gregarious greeter. Always stop 15 feet away and ask first. It’s the polite thing to do. If the other dog looks uncomfortable or scared, walk away quickly. Sticking around will make it much worse.

Think of it from a human perspective: Do you shake hands with everyone shopping at the grocery store? “Hi, I see you’re buying grapefruits today. My name is Fanna,” “Hi, those pork chops are lovely. My name is Fanna” or “Oh I buy that type of toilet paper too! My name is Fanna.” Could you imagine?! You would think I was nuts, right? But what if I followed you down an aisle saying, “But I want to meet you. My name is Fanna!” Creepy, especially for people not comfortable greeting strangers!

Instead, while shopping at the grocery store, we make eye contact with a stranger, smile, nod and continue walking past him. When walking past, provide plenty of room by turning sideways, walking down a different aisle or politely allowing a stranger to walk past you because it’s human etiquette. This works in the dog world too! 🙂

My Dog is a Wallflower

If your dog finds greeting other dogs stressful, it’s okay. All dogs are individuals. Some are introverts while others are extroverts just like people. An introverted person (withdrawn from strangers) finds attending parties with lots of people torturous. Remember, people are able to control their outcomes. Dogs can’t unless their pet parents notice their uncomfortable behavior around strange dogs or people.

When a dog is forced to meet another dog, scuffles or fights often break out because one dog is not comfortable meeting another dog and tries to disengage using threats. Note, it only takes one scary incident for a dog to become terrified of other dogs. Then the vicious cycle begins. Well meaning pet owners forcibly socialize their newly terrified dogs to fix the aggressive issue, which only makes it worse. Pet owners say, “My dog was really good with other dogs before. So he must need more socialization, right?” This will only make the problem worse.

Never introduce a known aggressive dog to another dog, as this is a recipe for disaster. Socializing known “dog aggressive” dogs will not make your dog better. It will make him much worse. He’s practicing this behavior and we all know practice makes perfect. Plus, there’s a really good chance the other dog, now having a terrible experience, is afraid of other dogs too.

Instead, enroll newly terrified and dog aggressive dogs in a Relaxed Rover class or contact a professional dog trainer or animal behaviorist. By partnering with a professional,  your dog will learn confidence around other dogs while developing skills to engage and disengage greetings without resorting to threats. Shoot, all dogs will benefit from learning these skills. 🙂

Socialization with Boundaries

Tip One: Follow your puppy’s or dog’s lead. If he’s not comfortable meeting another dog, walk away (before they greet). You’re teaching polite disengaging behavior by saying “hi” from a distance and politely walking away (remember the nod at the grocery store).

Tip Two: Enroll your puppy in Positive Puppy Manners class and Puppy Playtime after his first puppy vaccination series with a professional dog trainer. If your puppy chooses not to play with other puppies, it’s okay. He probably enjoys human contact more than puppy play.

Allow your dog to choose his friends. Sometimes, dogs and puppies love to play with certain dogs like your neighbor’s or sister’s dog, but he’s not comfortable playing with other dogs. That’s okay too. Personally, I have a tiny group of friends while my sister has unlimited friends, and we came from the same litter. 🙂

Tip Three: When accidentally meeting another dog on leash, allow them to briefly greet for two seconds, then walk away. You’re interrupting the greeting to keep it positive and teaching polite disengaging behaviors. By keeping greetings short with strange dogs, it prevents rude behavior from sneaking up.

Tip Four: If a person and his dog are making a beeline towards your dog, say, “We’re training, sorry,” and step away, turn around or cross the street. Trust me, you’re not being rude by moving away from the approaching pair. You’re speaking up for your dog and he thanks you. 🙂 As for the beelining dog and person, they’re learning that not all dogs should meet, which is a good thing!

I know this is a controversial topic and you can never go wrong by following your dog’s lead. Always socialize, but put a few boundaries in place first. 🙂