Puppy Playtime Isn’t as Great as You Think It Is
Trust me, I’m quite aware I’m treading on the newest trend in the pet industry and totally understand many dog training experts feel puppies must be exposed to “safe” playtime during their younger months. I also understand the concept of puppy play and its positive outcomes, but it doesn’t always work out well. While it sounds lovely in theory, puppy playtime is not all sunshine and roses from a dog trainer’s perspective.
The Magical Unicorn of Proper Play Sessions
Most puppy playtime sessions happen before, during or after puppy manners class. There are some locations that offer additional puppy play sessions separate from class time, which focuses on socializing puppies for 30 minutes to an hour.
In concept, puppies play with other puppies their same age or younger than four months old under supervision. Some puppy play sessions are separated by size, and others are further divided by play style. Before engaging in puppy playtime, puppies are temperament tested to ensure they play well with others. Sounds perfect, right? This is not reality.
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Safety is Impossible to Achieve Without Hurt Feelings
In a class of 8-10 puppies, there will be one or two that don’t play well with other puppies. These puppies just don’t want to be bothered with all the commotion or are simply terrified. Yes, in a perfect world, puppies should learn how to nicely disengage from playtime, but some puppies are relentless.
Personally, I don’t allow a puppy to be bullied by other dogs. It’s not fair and will teach terrible behaviors in the long run. Explaining to dog owners their puppy is no longer allowed to play with puppies is gut-wrenching. Of course, we do what’s best for the puppy at the time, but understand that dog owners have a hard time digesting this message. We would be a fool to chastise a dog owner, especially one who’s trying to do the right thing.
Somehow, society has told dog owners that if your puppy doesn’t want to play with other puppies, then something is wrong. This is not true. Forcing puppies to play together because someone says it’s good for them doesn’t make sense. Dogs and puppies are individuals, and each puppy should have his own training plan according to his personality. Assuming all puppies will get along is like assuming all humans will get along in a crowded freeway. That’s just not going to happen. Just because someone says it, it doesn’t mean we must follow it. I refuse to simply “just drink the Kool-Aid.”
Now, I’m not saying puppy playtime is evil and will hurt puppies, and it should be bashed so the feelings of pet owners aren’t hurt. I live in the real world, and as much as I hope for perfect puppy play, I don’t really see it often. I believe puppies should be able to choose to play. It should never be forced.
Research and question everything. Do what’s right for your puppy or dog, trust your gut feeling, and when in doubt stop the behavior.
Playtime Won’t Cure Aggression or Fear
Nope, it won’t. Every once in awhile, an experienced dog trainer may pair a frightened puppy with a super sweet, gentle puppy. If done correctly, the scared puppy will learn the ropes slowly with the gentle puppy encouraging him along the way. Now, this is not common. In the real world, puppies are expected to get along. If they don’t, dog owners are somehow convinced their puppy needs to find the right puppy to “teach their puppy a lesson,” which never ends well. Continuing to place a fearful puppy in a play session will only terrify him further just like allowing a rude puppy to continue bullying other puppies or terrorize fearful puppies will only teach him to become dog aggressive.
Searching for that one puppy that will “teach your puppy a lesson” is like playing Russian roulette. Most scared or pushy puppies learn aggression works, and it works quickly.
If Your Puppy Doesn’t Play, It’s Okay!
Sometimes, I wish for the old days of when puppies attended puppy class on leash and learned polite behaviors instead of playing. Back in the day, puppies learned their humans bring wonderful things, polite manners and ways to easily ignore distractions around them. Puppies learned to walk nicely on leash and ignore bouncing puppies next to them in exchange for food rewards.
I do feel the pendulum has swung too far. We now live in a society of dogs obsessed with greeting everyone. They’ll pull toward, stare, whine, lunge or drag their pet owners toward dogs, children and people. Being on the other side is scary; even I’m not comfortable watching a dog yank his pet owners toward me.
Remember, socializing puppies doesn’t mean they must play with other puppies. If your dog isn’t comfortable, listen to him.
Want to Hear a Dog Trainer’s True Confession?
We don’t allow our puppies to play during playtime. Instead, we teach puppies to focus on us when hearing their name. We teach them to sit still during greetings, come when called and, of course, enjoy free time during manners class where we play with them and not other puppies. We certainly don’t bring our dogs to dog parks, but that’s another rant. 🙂
Be your puppy’s voice. If he’s not enjoying playtime, pick him up and end the session. You owe no one an explanation; it’s your puppy.
This article is just what I needed to read at this moment. I just phoned the daycare that my puppy was at, and they said that my puppy did not engage in play today. He has been nervous going. This is only his second time, and I was hoping it would be better this time. I guess not. He is about eight months old and has recently been showing some nervous tendencies around other dogs until he gets to know them. I’m not sure what to do next. We want to socialize him, and board him at this facility, but he doesn’t seem comfortable.
Hi Heather!
I would remove your puppy from daycare, it sounds like he’s scared. Not all dogs enjoy playing with lots dogs (or any dogs really), and it can most certainly cause him to become anxious around other dogs. Socialization is teaching dogs and puppies how to act calmly around new things, not necessarily meet or touch them. Sometimes we assume dogs and children are the same, and dogs “will get used” to doing certain things they don’t like. This is a myth, listen to what your puppy is saying, be his voice. As a professional dog trainer, I have never brought my dogs to daycare, or allow them to meet other dogs during walks. Same for all my professional dog trainers agree, they don’t either. Trust me, I work with dogs every day that are forced to play with other dogs, and it’s a tough road to walk. Good luck and kisses to your puppy!
Thank you for the great post. My puppy is now 8 months old and when meeting other dogs he’s usually great and he initially managed meeting other puppies well too. He now slowly started to clearly react (barking/ growling) to other puppies. He is amazing with adult dogs but just seems to despise other puppies. The selection just confuses me and not quite sure how to best manage that.
thank you
Hi Mira!
Some puppies are overwhelming greeters, they run and jump on other dogs because they haven’t been taught how to polite greet other dogs yet. Just keep your dog away from puppies, you don’t want him to learn to dislike overly excited puppies. As for “aggression selection”, you would be amazed….. I’ve met several dogs that aggressed at specific breeds of dogs only, and during our consult, I found out a dog of this breed assaulted them which caused fear. Think being mugged by a man wearing a red shirt, your heart will pound when a red shirt wearing men walks towards for awhile. 🙂 It’s all learned behavior, fun right!