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Dog Trainer Confession: Puppy Playtime is Not For All Puppies

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Puppy Playtime Isn’t as Great as You Think It Is

Puppy Play
Fred De Bailliencourt/iStock

Trust me, I’m quite aware I’m treading on the newest trend in the pet industry and totally understand many dog training experts feel puppies must be exposed to “safe” playtime during their younger months. I also understand the concept of puppy play and its positive outcomes, but it doesn’t always work out well. While it sounds lovely in theory, puppy playtime is not all sunshine and roses from a dog trainer’s perspective.

The Magical Unicorn of Proper Play Sessions

Most puppy playtime sessions happen before, during or after puppy manners class. There are some locations that offer additional puppy play sessions separate from class time, which focuses on socializing puppies for 30 minutes to an hour.

In concept, puppies play with other puppies their same age or younger than four months old under supervision. Some puppy play sessions are separated by size, and others are further divided by play style. Before engaging in puppy playtime, puppies are temperament tested to ensure they play well with others. Sounds perfect, right? This is not reality.

RELATED: Choosing the Best Doggy Day Care

Safety is Impossible to Achieve Without Hurt Feelings

In a class of 8-10 puppies, there will be one or two that don’t play well with other puppies. These puppies just don’t want to be bothered with all the commotion or are simply terrified. Yes, in a perfect world, puppies should learn how to nicely disengage from playtime, but some puppies are relentless.

Personally, I don’t allow a puppy to be bullied by other dogs. It’s not fair and will teach terrible behaviors in the long run. Explaining to dog owners their puppy is no longer allowed to play with puppies is gut-wrenching. Of course, we do what’s best for the puppy at the time, but understand that dog owners have a hard time digesting this message. We would be a fool to chastise a dog owner, especially one who’s trying to do the right thing.

Somehow, society has told dog owners that if your puppy doesn’t want to play with other puppies, then something is wrong. This is not true. Forcing puppies to play together because someone says it’s good for them doesn’t make sense. Dogs and puppies are individuals, and each puppy should have his own training plan according to his personality. Assuming all puppies will get along is like assuming all humans will get along in a crowded freeway. That’s just not going to happen. Just because someone says it, it doesn’t mean we must follow it. I refuse to simply “just drink the Kool-Aid.”

Now, I’m not saying puppy playtime is evil and will hurt puppies, and it should be bashed so the feelings of pet owners aren’t hurt. I live in the real world, and as much as I hope for perfect puppy play, I don’t really see it often. I believe puppies should be able to choose to play. It should never be forced. 

Research and question everything. Do what’s right for your puppy or dog, trust your gut feeling, and when in doubt stop the behavior.

Playtime Won’t Cure Aggression or Fear

Nope, it won’t. Every once in awhile, an experienced dog trainer may pair a frightened puppy with a super sweet, gentle puppy. If done correctly, the scared puppy will learn the ropes slowly with the gentle puppy encouraging him along the way. Now, this is not common. In the real world, puppies are expected to get along. If they don’t, dog owners are somehow convinced their puppy needs to find the right puppy to “teach their puppy a lesson,” which never ends well. Continuing to place a fearful puppy in a play session will only terrify him further just like allowing a rude puppy to continue bullying other puppies or terrorize fearful puppies will only teach him to become dog aggressive.

Searching for that one puppy that will “teach your puppy a lesson” is like playing Russian roulette. Most scared or pushy puppies learn aggression works, and it works quickly.

If Your Puppy Doesn’t Play, It’s Okay!

Sometimes, I wish for the old days of when puppies attended puppy class on leash and learned polite behaviors instead of playing. Back in the day, puppies learned their humans bring wonderful things, polite manners and ways to easily ignore distractions around them. Puppies learned to walk nicely on leash and ignore bouncing puppies next to them in exchange for food rewards.

I do feel the pendulum has swung too far. We now live in a society of dogs obsessed with greeting everyone. They’ll pull toward, stare, whine, lunge or drag their pet owners toward dogs, children and people. Being on the other side is scary; even I’m not comfortable watching a dog yank his pet owners toward me.

Remember, socializing puppies doesn’t mean they must play with other puppies. If your dog isn’t comfortable, listen to him.

Want to Hear a Dog Trainer’s True Confession?

We don’t allow our puppies to play during playtime. Instead, we teach puppies to focus on us when hearing their name. We teach them to sit still during greetings, come when called and, of course, enjoy free time during manners class where we play with them and not other puppies. We certainly don’t bring our dogs to dog parks, but that’s another rant. 🙂

Be your puppy’s voice. If he’s not enjoying playtime, pick him up and end the session. You owe no one an explanation; it’s your puppy.

How to Train Fearful Dogs

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Fearful Dog Training Tips

Fearful Dog
ArenaCreative/Deposit Photos

Fearful dogs break my heart. It’s not their fault they’re scared. They are either born this way and/or learned through scary encounters.

When training or living with a fearful dog, you’re using the same basic learning principles, but doing a few things differently. Always remember: fear causes aggression. We are all equipped with “fight or flight” mode. It’s a defensive mechanism. In fearful dogs, this mode is turned up a few notches.

Never use punishment-based training methods. Never punish a dog for being fearful, you will make it much worse. Punishment means yelling, screaming, pushing, pulling, correcting with a collar or verbally, and hitting a dog. It’s not their fault. Would you punish a child for being scared? I think not.

First, enroll in a Relaxed Rover class. Relaxed Rover classes are designed for fearful dogs and incorporate the below fearful dog tips. Class size is smaller than regular group classes and provides plenty of opportunities for practicing while offering guidance from a professional dog trainer.

Use the Very Best Treats

This is so important. I’m shocked how many dog owners disregard dog training treats. This is your dog’s currency, so use treats your dog loves!

Control His Environment

If your fearful dog refuses to eat his treats and you’re using hot dogs and string cheese (i.e. high value treats), stop and assess the situation. Is your dog distracted by:

Another dog standing too close?

o Move your dog away, at least 10 feet, if possible and try again.
o Provide visual barriers, such as bushes, fences and distance.

A person standing too close?

o Move your dog away, at least 10 feet, if possible and try again.
o Provide visual barriers, such as bushes, fences and distance.

Loud noise?

o Move away from loud noises and refrain from teaching your dog around loud noises. This could mean walking your dog in a park instead of alongside a busy road.

Quick movement?

o This startles many fearful dogs, as they believe quick movement means they are coming to get me.
o Provide visual barriers.

Teach Redirection

Redirection means to reward your dog for doing something else. If your dog jumps up, reward him for sitting instead. When redirecting, always continue to manage your environment.

If another dog is standing too close,

o Teach your dog the “look at that” cue.
o When your dog looks at another dog, click and treat. Your dog learns dogs equal food.

If a person is standing too close,

o Teach your dog the “look at that” cue.
o When your dog looks at a person, click and treat. Your dog learns strangers equal food.

If there is loud noise,

o Feed your dog as a loud noise is happening.
o Trust me, you’re not rewarding your dog’s scared behavior. You are pairing yummy food with something scary, such as a noise. This works wonderfully!

If there is quick movement,

o Teach your dog the “look at that” cue.
o When your dog looks at whatever is causing quick movement, click and treat. Your dog learns quick movement equals food and quick movement does not mean you are coming to get him.

Build Confidence

By teaching a fearful dog the “look at that” cue, he’s learning the world is not scary, which is very empowering. The more your fearful dog learns, the more confidence he will build!

I highly recommend enrolling in controlled dog sports, such as agility and nosework. By controlled, I mean one dog and handler are allowed in the ring at a time. This means low distractions and lots of one-on-one attention from the dog trainer.

Nosework is awesome for fearful dogs! Nervous dogs usually blossom after just one session. They learn to do something else instead of worry, and every dog has a good nose–even baby Pugs. 🙂

Preventing Shut Down Dogs

When a dog shuts down, he has given up to the extent he becomes frustrated. This condition is called learned helplessness, which can be treated. We cover learned helplessness in more detail in this article.

Bark back! What tips have worked for your fearful dog?

Choosing an Animal Behaviorist

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Animal Behaviorist

Animal BehavioristDealing with dog aggression, moderate to severe anxiety or fearfulness or obsessive compulsive behaviors (OCD) is extremely trying for pet owners. I’ve held these owners in my arms, as they sobbed. It’s a difficult situation for dogs and their owners.

That is why I refer these cases to a qualified animal behaviorist. Within my 20 years of dog training experience, I find difficult cases are solved much quicker and with better results when a qualified animal behaviorist is involved.

What is an Animal Behaviorist?

An animal behaviorist is an expert who deals with difficult behavior cases, such as dog aggression, anxiety and obsessive compulsion behaviors on a daily basis.

Veterinarians, whom are board certified in animal behavior:

  • Bring their expert veterinary knowledge plus four years of solving and studying dog behavior (and many other animals) to their cases
  • Have completed their vet requirements and studied dog behavior, solving difficult behavioral cases for a minimum of four years, plus have passed a demanding animal behavior board certification
  • Can prescribe medications, if needed, so a dog can learn how to overcome his fears

Applied Animal Behaviorists have:

  • Earned a Masters or PhD degree in animal behavior
  • Studied dog behavior for a minimum of 7 years
  • Been required to successfully solve difficult cases under supervision with field experts during their internships

Prescribed Anti-Anxiety Medications

Some pet owners are reluctant to use anti-anxiety medications and I understand. You’re scared you will make your dog worse or drug him. Personally, when training dogs with life-destroying anxiety, I’ve seen amazing results when anti-anxiety medications are used. “The ultimate goal is to reach a point where the drugs are no longer necessary, a point where your dog has overcome his anxiety and learned to react in an appropriate fashion,” says Dr. Lorie Hudson DVM.

RELATED: Medical Modalities for Dogs

Why Contact an Animal Behaviorist?

Dog trainers and animal behaviorists are two different professions, yet they work together as a fabulous team. Think of dog trainers as general practitioners (GPs) and animal behaviorists as specialists in dog behavior. 

  • Animal behaviorists study and treat difficult cases daily with great success rates. They are required to complete yearly continuing education in their field of study and stay updated on the latest findings with fear, anxiety, aggression or OCD.
  • Animal behaviorists provide immediate assistance and solutions for the issue at hand, which provides quicker results for your dog and saves money. Dog trainers (GPs) teach polite manners, solve everyday pet issues and are usually a pet owner’s first contact when dealing with difficult behaviors. 
  • Dog trainers’ knowledge is vast. They are prepared for anything that might walk through their training center doors, complete yearly continuing education and provide recommendations to ensure the success of a dog and their owners. They are the general practitioners of the dog training world. They triage to specialists when needed. Personally, I’m extremely proud to be a dog trainer and empowered to have qualified animal behaviorists to call upon when needed.

Referral Process and Consultation

  1. When dog trainers encounter moderate to extreme fear, aggression, anxiety or OCD, they refer pet parents to an animal behaviorist, as these cases require one-on-one attention that provides specific training protocols for success. Dog trainers usually have their preferred animal behaviorist and will always ensure this person works for you and your dog too.
  2. An animal behaviorist will ask you to complete an extensive history background. Answer to the best of your knowledge. This history report is key to note triggers (what causes your dog to act fearful, aggressive, anxious or causes OCD behavior to happen).
  3. Then, an animal behaviorist will involve your local veterinarian to rule out any health issues.
  4. Once heath issues have been ruled out, the animal behaviorist will schedule a time to discuss your dog’s history background. Ask questions and observe your dog.
  5. After the consultation, a training protocol is designed and medications are prescribed if needed.
  6. Dog trainers will assist you with your prescribed training protocol and report back to the animal behaviorist on progress.
  7. Most animal behaviorists require a six-month check-in, especially if medications were prescribed.

Contacting an Animal Behaviorist

Usually, local positive reinforcement dog trainers work with an animal behaviorist in the area. However, still research your dog trainer’s referral. Qualified animal behaviorists should be listed in the below database:

If you’re unable to find a qualified person in your area, the below vets (both are board certified in animal behavior) provide phone consultations through your regular vet:

Animal Behaviorist Tips

  • Not recommended: Dog trainers or unqualified animal behaviorists boasting they can fix any issue is equivalent to a general practitioner saying they can preform open heart surgery.
  • Choose a qualified animal behaviorist. The cost is the same or less than an unqualified animal behaviorist.
  • Do not choose an animal behaviorist using punishment-based training methods.

You’re more than welcome to ask any questions on this subject in the comment section below. This is a tough situation and I hope this article points you in the right direction with solutions.

READ ALSO: ASPCA – Finding Professional Help

Dog Training Nation is a dog training blog for pet owners and dog lovers. We cover a range of topics from puppy socialization tips to dog aggression to dog health. It is our hope you share our content to make the world a better place for dogs.

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