My Dog Hates My Spouse

When your dog hates your spouse, the entire relationship dynamic is shaken. In a nutshell, this is resource guarding. Your dog sees you as a valuable resource (i.e. you provide food, water and shelter) and wants to keep it that way.

To combat this dog behavior, your new household motto should be “everything fun comes from your disliked spouse.” By pairing fun things with your spouse, your dog will learn your spouse is actually quite nice. Think of it this way: when the disliked spouse is around, all good things rain from the sky. When the spouse leaves, all fun stops.

Regardless of your dog’s history, he can certainly learn to trust and bond with new people.

Quick Note for Favored Spouse

By pairing fun things with your spouse, your dog will begin to befriend him, so prepare yourself. Many times, this process is halted because the favored spouse becomes jealous. Her dog is now lying on her spouse’s lap and she feels left out and–dare I say–abandoned. When these emotions stir, tell yourself it’s the right thing to do for your dog and your spouse. Refrain from making snarky comments and, instead, admire and encourage your spouse for bonding with your dog.

Your dog will still adore you and much more so because you’re teaching him how to bond with others, which is a priceless gift. Plus, it’s not fun being left out. As your disliked spouse can attest, it’s downright degrading. Support and encourage your spouse and, of course, still cuddle with your dog. 🙂

Your Dog is Not Protecting You

Some people feel protected and safe when their dogs growl or charge at other people, but it’s actually quite disabling to your dog. You’re teaching your dog to fear everything, so he’s constantly lashing out. Your dog’s living in a constant state of fear. Plus, dogs of all sizes can cause real harm, so encouraging this misguided behavior is downright dangerous. What if a child or elderly person approaches you and your dog tries to bite? You will be held liable per strict laws pertaining to dog bites and you can lose your dog. It’s not fair to your dog.

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Training Your Dog to Like Your Spouse

Your Dinner is Served

Going forward, the disliked spouse should serve your dog’s meals. To make it extra fun, try adding some canned food or dollop of yogurt. If the favored spouse is preparing meals when the disliked spouse is not home, then skip the extra food stuff. Save the lusciousness for meals served by your spouse to continue pairing good things with the disliked spouse.

Shall I Feed You Hot Dogs?

Ask your spouse to teach your dog new tricks and reward with high value treats, such as hot dogs. When your dog comes when called in the backyard, your spouse should reward with a jackpot (giving two to five treats at once).

Prepare peanut butter stuffed toys for your dog to enjoy when your spouse is around. Purchase new toys and keep them hidden until your spouse arrives home. Interactive games are awesome. Your spouse and dog should play “find the treat.” Just remember: all fun should come from your spouse.

Long Walks

This is actually a great way to bond with a new dog. You’re both in a new environment with space between you. Dogs find choices just as rewarding as treats, and during walks, they can choose the space between you. The favored spouse can tag along, but ask the disliked spouse to hold the leash so he can encourage your dog and reward good behavior.

Don’t Force Love

Your spouse should build trust with your dog and forcing any type of contact can certainly fracture all trust within seconds. Move at the dog’s pace. If he quits playing, then the game is over. Don’t push it.

If your dog charges or growls at your spouse, don’t punish this behavior. It’s like teaching a child never to say “no” when he’s scared. Boundaries are important in life, so respect your dog’s boundaries too. Instead, your spouse should turn away and ignore your dog. However, there are consequences to actions. Rather than letting your dog march back to you after charging at your spouse and lie back on your lap, crate your dog in another room with a yummy food stuffed toy while you and your spouse enjoy alone time.

If It Gets Worse or Bites Happen

Disliked spouses should not endure biting or constant threats. It’s not fair to your spouse or dog. Plus, you’re allowing your dog to practice unwanted behavior, which makes it much worse. Partner with a professional dog trainer or veterinary animal behaviorist for guidance.